In an interview with music magazine, Blender, Alicia Keys has revealed what we'd been suspecting all along: gangsta rap is actually an elaborate "ploy to convince black people to kill each other".
Apparently rappers, such as Ice T and Dr Dre, are instruments of mysterious puppetmasters who exist to perpetuate the rap community's strife. The late-90s feud between east and west coast hip-hop was, in fact, created by shadowy figures in government, and the deaths of Notorious BIG and Tupac Shakur were part and parcel of this plan; an attempt "by the government and the media, to stop another great black leader from existing."
As part of her own personal crusade to right these sinister wrongs, Keys has donated an impressive $500 to the Democrat party, and around her neck wears a solid gold AK-47 which apparently symbolises "Strength, power and killing 'em dead", which all obviously makes complete sense.
Well done you.
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